I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
