i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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