Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Are we still banned from the library?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
