Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I cut my penus on the lid.
my being single is dangerous.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
