It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
