Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
