They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
