the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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