I am puke
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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