so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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