I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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