You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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