I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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