only if we run a train.
done.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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