we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
