I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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