my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
