You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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