Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Randomize
