we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
