dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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