Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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