Christians are straight up FREAKS
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
handjob tips. give me some.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
