in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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