Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
