how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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