I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
