i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
