I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
