i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Randomize
