If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Boobs are out for the taking
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
