I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
