My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
