Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Randomize
