I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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