this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
