i don't like sucking hair
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
