does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
this is an emotional support booty call
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
