Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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