Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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