Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
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Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
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I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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