Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
