I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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