I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
