What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It's shark week go big or go home
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize