When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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