So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
