Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
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It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
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I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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