so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
