someone get that fucking seahorse.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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