My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
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I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize