i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
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I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
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Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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