Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
