Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
