a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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