Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Every concussion has its silver lining
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
