Your mouth is God's brothel.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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