there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
