Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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