I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
