One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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